Sexual Harassmant is Not Cool

By Jenai Llama, s28
Monash University

If anyone knows me, they know how utterly hopeless I generally am with recognising landmarks. Today I was trying to find my way to the corner of Jalan Columbo and Jalan Gejayan and I ended up...elsewhere. Luckily I had Meg to sms me in the right direction or else I would have wandered around for at least another hour (something I'm getting used to doing because on average I get lost at least four times every five days).

I was riding along the more quiet streets trying to find a bypass to the main roads, when a man on a motorbike slows down alongside me and asks where the end of the street goes to. I smile and say; "Maaf, nggak tahu" (Sorry, don't know), and this is all normal, but then he smiles back, grabs my arse and says "Makasih mbak!" (Thanks Miss!) before speeding off!

Basically, I had the shock of my life, and nearly crashed into the wall of the primary school. I felt utterly enraged and disorientated. I didn't know what to do. I felt so violated. So I just frowned and kept riding my bike along the road, which turned out to be a dead end, and the same guy turned back and rode past me smiling. This time I felt humiliated and didn't want to meet eyes with him.

Before you start thinking that all Indonesian men are lecherous, horrible sexist beasts; according to my experiences so far, this isn't the case. I've met heaps of lovely people over here, regardless of their sex. And the reality is, sexual harassment is not only limited to countries like Indonesia. A lot of women have been sexually harassed back at home in Australia (including myself) and we don't necessarily have to be dressed "provocatively" either.

Yet, in my head I kept thinking, "Was I wearing something that was provocative? Did I do something that said harass me; I want it bad? WHAT DID I DO WRONG?" I was wearing respectable clothes, but that's beside the point. Why should I be thinking that I did something wrong when I didn't?? Why should any woman think they have to dress a certain way to stop "tempting" men? I know it's hard to disconnect the idea of a girl who wears short skirts, sleeps around a bit by freewill (plus other stereotypical characteristics) as a slut, but it really has to stop. It's not fair that a man can sleep around and be praised for it. Furthermore the overwhelming majority of sexual harassment/sexual abuse cases are perpetrated by men, so I feel like it's definitely not women who should be changing the way they are, but the attitudes of men.

For some Muslim women that I've spoken to, a jilbab (or hijab; the scarf worn to cover their hair) is liberating because men do not tend to view you as a sexual object. If a guy wants to know you, it's not because of what you look like (well maybe a bit), but more about who you are. I really like that, and I really understand that. But, does that mean that if I don't wear a jilbab and I'm not a Muslim in this country, people might think I want to be sexually harassed?!

It really doesn’t help that I've been reading books on rape and its contentious relationship with porn. It builds this kind of inner resentment against men for the whole power imbalance which exists between the sexes. I can tell you, after that and even now, I am seething with a need to punch something or really hurt someone. I had all these scenarios in my head of dismembering that man's bowels and genitals, which is why now I can relate to the appeal of "provocation" in cases of battered wives murdering their abusive husbands.

I just really needed to have a bit of space to have my long feminist rant. I think I have even more to say on this topic, but for now, that should be enough. Maybe when I've given myself more time to mull over it, and come up with better strategies to battle it.

By the way I'm having a grand time here, and can hardly believe a month has passed by already - it makes me realise that the next four months are going to fly by!