Sexual Harassment #2

By Mia Hoogenboom
Australian National University

The other day a friend said to me "some days I just wish I was carrying a machine gun". That's the way the harassment we western females experience here can make you feel. Perfectly rational and otherwise unflappable people turn into frustrated tyrants who are so close to punching the next leering sleazebag on the nose, that they feel their knuckles twitch. Some days you'll want to scream "for God's sake don't you have anything better to do?"

Most of the time the harassment you will experience will not be physical. You don't need to live in fear of molestation any more so than you do at home. You do however need to be prepared to develop coping mechanisms towards strings of nasty male related incidents, which can threaten your mental well-being. Many men here who have read a barrage of negative media reports about 'pergaulan bebas' in the west will see you as an inexpensive outlet for their sexual frustration. Our cause isn't helped any by the troops of tourists running around Sosro in shorts and singlets feeling the holiday spirit. To both men and women here, girls traipsing around proudly in what's seen as little more than underwear are considered open invitations. In our eyes, fashion has evolved clothing that enhances the beauty of the human form. To many people here however, clothing is first and foremost a tool to cover up that which should only be shared between married couples.

In Indonesia today a double standard exists toward the concept of sex. Where women are expected to be virgins when married, loyal to their partners and to cover their bodies in order to protect themselves from male desires, men are free to 'play the field' both before and after marriage. A friend here informed me that a woman who had sex before marriage would never find a good husband, as she would be considered 'left-overs'. At the same time a trip past the Taman Rekreasi near the UGM Stadium on Malam Minggu will show you that physical relationships do indeed occur, they are simply well hidden.

There are several different varieties of harassment:

GROPERS - These linger on crowded buses, lurk in quiet alleys or grope you, laughing hysterically, as they ride by on a motorbike.

REACTION - To those on buses and in alleys a retort like "kamu memang kurang ajar"' may help although it may only attract laughter. Try to avoid the situation by sitting up the front of the bus near the door or next to another female. To the motorbike riding variety all you can do is hope that karma puts a stick in their spokes.

FLASHERS - Beware the Phantom Flasher of Bulaksumur. This tukang becak likes to show his penis to women and say "mau ini".

REACTION - Stay calm and make a witty retort. He is obviously out to intimidate and shock so a reply of "Ahh kecil sekali" may embarrass him. If really concerned the Tourist Police on Malioboro may help to eradicate the species…..or they may just laugh.

LEERERS - This species like to stare fixedly at your breasts or crotch and drool, looking like they want to do god knows what to you. Probably the most commonly seen variety.

REACTION -Try not to let it bug you. I've tried several responses from ignoring it, pretending it didn't happen, through to giving a cheery smile and wave.

"I want to practice my English" - These sit down next to you in warungs, follow you on their bike or approach you on the streets and try to extract your address from you. If a stranger approaches you and says I want to practice my English, it is reasonable to suspect they have a hidden agenda that doesn't have much to do with conversation.

REACTION - Saying your boyfriend will be angry if you give your address and only speaking to them in English often makes them go away. Of course if they seem genuine you can invite them over, just be prepared to find a hidden agenda.

MOBS - These are found in multiples of five outside of warungs and kos. Most commonly seen late afternoon. They make comments about you as you walk by. They also tend to address you when you have already passed them and call you sombong when you don't reply.

REACTION - Ignore them or better, predict the situation and get in first with a smile and nod before they address you.

STARERS - Usually seen when you are eating Mie Ayam with chopsticks and trying to retain dignity with noodles dripping off your chin. They are transfixed by the light reflecting off your white skin and make a running commentary on your actions to their friends.

REACTION - Try not to feel like a caged animal at a zoo and leave before they minta alamat.

Taken as isolated incidents harassment and all its connotations of gender inequality is not likely to bother you. When it happens all day every day however, you start to feel a little annoyed. Yet, there is really nothing you can do. What we see as harassment is often not viewed so by Indonesians, rather it is seen as everyday behaviour. Unfortunately you just have to deal with it. You can do a lot to help your own cause by wearing clothes that don't draw attention to you and by retaining a calm, unruffled and friendly exterior. Certainly it is not at all pleasant to be viewed as an emotionless object of desire, nor is it enjoyable to have mobs of teenage boys laughing hysterically and saying "I love you mister" as you go past. At the same lime, isn't it nice that we can bring so much enjoyment and excitement into people's lives just by our very presence? It's annoying, demoralising and sometimes drives you insane, but it is also part of the rich Yogya culture that most of us have come to love.